Want or Need?
by DoingTrix
Summary: Can someone you've know for nearly all your life mean that much? Is severus really her hearts greatest desire? Read and find out. Hermione/Severus Snape
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

_Snape__'__s body began to tremble as her arms rapped themselves around his neck, his lips met hers. __"__Oh god how long had he wanted this, to have their lips meet like this, to have their bodies touch like this?__"__ For as long as he could remember he had wanted this. His hands began to wonder, began to caress her back, her hair, her legs anywhere his hands could reach he stroked. As he came up for air he looked down into those rich honey coloured eyes and smiled._

"_Don__'__t stop__"__ she whispered gazing up into Snape__'__s ebony eyes. He took her by the hand and lead her towards his bedchamber but before he could reach it a loud cry rang out from nowhere shattering Snape__'__s blissful dream . . . . _

_**Reality !**_

_Snape sat on the edge of his bed his head in his hands running for the sixth time the dream which had dominated his deep sleep the night before. __"__Why__"__ he asked himself yet again __"__why ,why, why had he dreamt it, had he wanted it, had he enjoyed it that much that his body had decided to soil clean sheets? Well the answer was yes, he had wanted it and yes he had enjoyed it (accounting for the sheets which now lay screwed up in a corner)._

_Once again he ran the dream through his head remembering every breath every quiver she made as she allowed his hands to roam over her body, but she__'__s one of my student he thought desperately, correction __'__was__'__ one of his students she had left Hogwarts a year before just after that horrific battle against the __'__Dark Lord__'__. He had watched her grow from an ugly duckling with bushy hair, slightly big teeth and a very annoying tendency to be an insufferable know it-all. To a beautiful swan who was still an insufferable know it-all. _

"_She__'__s coming back in two weeks time__"__ he moaned __"__she__'__s coming back to teach Transfiguration, what an I going to do?__"__ Running his fingers through his hair he heaved himself off the bed and made his way to the bathroom pausing only to glair at the pile of sheets in the corner as if it had been their fault that he had been aroused by the dream. _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_On entering the kitchen Snape noticed a letter and small parcel lying on the table his large eagle owl perched on the back of an old faded green armchair, the birds cry must have been what woke him. Seeing the neat emerald green lettering on the front of the envelope he picked it up, knowing who it was from and dreading what it said inside._

_Dear Severus,_

_As you may know Miss Hermione Granger will be rejoining us at Hogwarts this forth coming year but not as a student, she will be filling my old position as Professor of Transfiguration seeing as I am now head I cannot do both. I will expect you and the rest of the staff to make her feel welcome, I also hope you understand that I am splitting up your time table, so Miss Granger will have Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday up to period 4 and you will have the rest but this year you will not only be the Potions master but Defence against the Dark Arts Professor as well. I hope this is to your liking I have taken the liberty of enclosing a time turner with this letter, Miss Granger will be in possession of one too. I would also like you two to set up a proper duelling club not like the one we had a few years back. Hope you are well see you at the beginning of the new year._

_Yours sincerely _

_Minerva McGonagall _

_P.S you will be presenting her with her new robes._

_Falling back into the old armchair Snape reread the letter, he now had the job he had wanted since becoming a teacher and yet he didn__'__t feel happy in fact he didn__'__t feel anything no emotion at all. Reaching for the small parcel he began to unwrap it a long golden chain fell out attached was the most amazing pendant he had ever seen, it had three gold rings the two outer had writing on the edges and the inner had a tiny hourglass hanging right in the middle with minuscule stars around it. Slipping it over his head he let it drop inside his robes it felt cold against his bare skin._

_Picking the letter back up he skimmed it the last sentence jumped out at him __"__you will be presenting her with her new robes__"__, did that mean he would have to shake her hand touch that beautifully pale skin, feel the warmth of her eyes upon him. Snaps__'__ mind instantly returned to the dream he felt her body pressed up against his, he could feel he heart beating against his chest. Snapes__'__ eyes opened looking down at the letter he saw that the ink was smudged his hands were drenched in sweat and he was becoming increasingly aware of a dampness spreading in his trousers._

"_This is ridicules__"__ he thought __"__it __'__s going to be impossible to work with her if I__'__m going to be aroused every time I see her. Rising out of the chair he began to unbutton his trousers letting them drop to the floor along with his underpants stooping to pick them up he thought back to the last time he had had to change because of his body, it had been just under twenty years ago when he and Lily had still been at school. He__'__d been stupid enough to believe that she__'__d cared about him he wouldn__'__t make that mistake ever again. Sighing he straightened up and headed back upstairs for his second wash of the day. _


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_Hermione Granger stepped down from the carriage sniffed and smiled it still smelt the same but would it still look the same, setting off at a brisk pace she began the steady walk up to the castle. Rounding the last corner she gave a joyous laugh for there before her lay Hogwarts, her beautiful Hogwarts that she had helped defend last year from Voldemort, Hogwarts which this year she would be helping to rebuild. She couldn't __w__ait to get started._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

_The Great Hall hadn__'__t changed one little bit all the tables and benches were there, the top table was exactly the same, four huge hourglasses hung upon the wall to the right one for each of the houses and to the left there was a door which led to the trophy room. The only thing that would be different this year would be no Dumbledore, that and herself obviously._

"_Miss Granger__"__ asked a voice behind her. Hermione spun around there before her stood Professor McGonagall smiling fit to bust, __"__Professor, it__'__s so good to see you again how are you well I hope__"__ Hermione exclaimed returning the warm smile. __"__I__'__m very well thank you, and please call me Minerva we are after all colleagues now__"__, __"__Well thank you and I will but only if you call me Hermione__"__ Hermione replied grinning from ear to ear._

_After Hermione had reacquainted, herself with her beloved Hogwarts she returned once more to the Great Hall whose ceiling now depicted a beautiful sunset. The perfect end to a perfect day she sighed, she did love this room it had been the very first thing she had read in __'__Hogwarts: A History __'__.Turning away from the beautiful scene she smiled to herself, tomorrow the hall would be filled with laughing, chattering children and she would be made a teacher, at last._

"_Pixie Dust__"__ Hermione yawned the painting of a purple Mooreland with wild ponies on it swung forward soundlessly allowing her to enter her new bedchamber. Letting out a small gasp as she lit the ready made fire, she stared about at the room which lay before her, everything was coated in dark Red velvet. Dark wooden furniture stood in a semicircle around the fireplace, a large four poster bed also made out of dark wood stood alone in a small room whose door was ajar, laughing Hermione ran for it flinging herself onto it and within minutes she was fast asleep._

_Meanwhile on the other side o the castle deep within the dungeons Snape lay flat on his back staring at the canvass above him. __"__Tomorrow__'__s the day__"__ he whispered, Tomorrow he would see her again he had thought he had seen her today but she was gone so fast he was sure it had been his mind playing tricks on him. Rolling over onto his side he closed his eyes knowing that it would be her face that would haunt his dreams that night. _


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

_A small tinkling sound rang out through the Great Hall, Professor McGonagall placed her fork back on the table, stepping up onto a small podium she addressed the hall. __"__Now we all know that I use to teach Transfiguration but now that I am Head I cannot teach anymore so it is with great pleasure that I welcome our new Transfiguration teacher Miss Hermione Granger.__"__ The hall erupted with applause and cheers, for almost everyone had heard of Hermione, Ron and of course Harry._

"_And now Professor Snape will present Miss Granger with her new robes__"__ announced Professor McGonagall, Snapes legs felt like jelly slowly he proceeded forward the feather light robes lay draped over one arm. The silver trim catching the candle light, the hall had gone oddly silent a strange buzzing seemed to be filling Snapes head. As he approached she turn to face, those amazingly golden coloured eyes met his, stopping his heart instantly. A small smile curved her soft lips as he drew closer, Snape__'__s pulse began to race sweat was running down his back his mind wanted to return to the dream but he daren__'__t for fear of what might happen. He reached her side in what seemed like years where as it was only a few seconds, holding out the robes she slid one arm into a sleeve his fingers brushed her shoulder, quickly he whipped them away not wanting her to realise he__'__d touched her. With the robes on she turned __"__Thank you__"__ she said softly her eyes never leaving his, for a moment he couldn__'__t speak then very stiffly he replied __"__You__'__re welcome__"__. Once more she smiled it took Snape__'__s breath away, with a brief nod he turned and made his way quickly back to his place. __"__Well now that__'__s sorted I think it__'__s time for bed we don__'__t you to be tired for tomorrow__"__ Professor McGonagall said and with a clap of her hands the plates disappeared_

_With a loud scrapping of benches the students rose, prefects began to call out to their houses to stick together and not to go wondering off, ghosts glided out through the walls and candles were dimmed._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

_As the last of the students were ushered out of the hall Hermione turned to find all the teachers except Snape smiling at her, __"__And now for a proper welcoming__"__ exclaimed tiny Professor Flitwick. __"__Severus would you mind popping down to the kitchens and asking for five bottles of Elfish wine to be sent up, thank you__"__ Professor McGonagall said with a grin beginning to spread across her face. With a great swish of his long black cloak Snape marched of towards the stairs which lead to the kitchens. __"__The eagerness for him to get as far away from her as possible was so apparent__"__ Hermione thought __"__he might as well have been running as fast as he could down the corridor.__"_

_The welcome party was lovely mussed Hermione as she lay in her extremely comfy bed, I must send a letter to Harry and Ron this weekend telling them how my first week went, smiling she let her mind wonder back to her boyfriend Ron, they had been dating just under a year now and were very happy but to be honest Hermione couldn__'__t see them being together forever. Rolling over she thought back to the look on Snape__'__s face when she had thanked him, it had been a mixture of embarrassment and shock, I wonder why he looked like that has no-one ever thanked him before of was it just because I did. Closing her eyes she let the darkness engulf her. Not to far away Snape sat in front of a blazing fire a piece of parchment in his hands on it was a very accurate sketch of Hermione, it wasn__'__t that bad considering he hadn__'__t done anything artistic since he had his heart broken by Lily he hadn__'__t had any reason to nothing had seemed beautiful enough to draw until he saw her again._

"_God what__'__s wrong with me__"__ he moaned __"__I didn__'__t feel this way about her when she was still at school so why do I now? Maybe it__'__s because she was still considered a child when she was at school and now she__'__s a woman and what a woman,__"__ purred the beast that had be born inside his stomach as he drew. __"__It can never__"__ be he sighed closing his eyes but that didn__'__t mean he couldn__'__t wish that it was. The beast began to purr louder as he let himself returned to the dream which had become his one wish in life, his pulse started to race images flashed pass his minds eye things he wanted but knew he could never have, things he longed to happen but never would. It was wrong he knew that._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

_She drew him closer one hand was gripping the front of his robes the other was around the back of his head her fingers entwined in his silky black hair, her heart was beating hard inside her chest, sweat was pouring down her face mixing with his. The more he kissed her the more she wanted him, wanted him touching, feeling, on her, in her, anywhere around her. She could feel him deepening the kiss, pushing harder against her body his hands were lifting her skirt feeling their way expertly over her legs._

"_Keep going__"__ she gasped coming up for air, his hands found the top of her knickers. . . _

_**Reality !**_

_Hermione woke with a start her bed sheets were sticking to her body, hot sweat drenched her back making her nightdress uncomfortable. Sitting up she ran her hand through her hair feeling the dampness upon it, breathing deeply she lay back down, slowly it returned to normal but the dream still played on her mind. She had been kissing her ex-potions master who was now a fellow colleague just the thought of it sent a shiver down her spine._

_Rolling over onto her front she tried to think of something else but no matter how hard she tried she couldn__'__t escape the dream the memory of the heat and lust she had felt for him still plagued her, she had wanted more, wanted him to touch her as no man had ever touch her before. Wanted him to run his hands over her bare flesh, wanted him to want her as much as she had wanted him. She had wanted him to . . . Love her._

"_Great__"__ moaned Hermione __"__I__'__m having very heated dreams about Severus Snape, what next I__'__ll be having his children, snorting at the absurdity of this Hermione closed her eyes and soon was fast asleep._


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8 **_

_Entering the hall the next morning Snape was not entirely surprised to find Hermione already sitting in her place, a note book and quill lay in front of her. Trying not to smile he strolled up to the table and sat down, instantly a plate appeared before him, a knife and fork either side of it. No sooner had he lifted his first fork full of scrambled eggs to his mouth there came a timid voice behind him, __"__Professor Snape can I have a word please?__"__ Swallowing he set his fork down and turned to face the speaker, there stood a slightly pink Hermione, __"__Yes Miss Granger what is it ?__"__ he asked silkily, __"__I was wondering if you were happy with the time table?__"__ gabbled Hermione. What was wrong with her why was she getting herself all worked up like this, and why did she have butterflies in her stomach?__"__"__The time table is adequate__"__ replied Snape bemused at the very flustered Hermione who stood before him __"__Why__"__"__No reason__"__ she answered hastily, __"__I was just wondering like I said__"__ and with that she turned and raced back to seat._

_Trying hard not to laugh Snape went back to his breakfast, at the other end of the table a very confused Hermione sat staring at her plate of half eaten scrambled eggs. __"__That dream must have rattled me more than I thought__"__ she pondered, __"__Well it__'__s not going to happen again she thought defiantly._

_The days passed quickly, Hermione__'__s classes were going well considering she__'__d only really taught Harry and Ron before, Ron she thought fondly still could not perform the simplest of spells unlike herself. Looking out over the bowed heads of the 3__rd__ years she smiled happily she did love her job. As the days shortened and the holidays drew near Hermione began to wonder if there would still be a Christmas feast, that very night Professor McGonagall called a surprise meeting. __"__Now as you all know this is the first Christmas Hogwarts has had since that horrendous battle against the Dark Lord__"__ she began quickly, __"__So I__'__ve decided to have a ball this year to celebrate what do you think?__"__"__I think it__'__s an excellent idea__"__ piped up Professor Flitwik, __"__Ruddy brilliant__"__ wheezed Hagrid. __"__Right well now that we__'__ve all agreed all we need to do now is to decide a date.__"_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

_The ball was set for the night before everyone broke up for the Christmas holidays, as the days sped on Hermione began to feel the same buzz she always got at Christmas time. A week before the ball she suddenly had a thought, she had nothing to wear . . . Wait yes she did the only problem was it was at her parents house, __"__Great__"__ she moaned __"__How am I going to get it now I can__'__t leave the castle, I guess I__'__m just going to have to make one. _

_Snape awoke on the morning of the ball with what seemed like a billion butterflies flapping in his stomach, __"__Get a grip__"__ he scolded himself pulling back the warm sheets an icy blast of cold air rapped itself around his legs, shivering a little he walked quickly to the bathroom looking forward to a nice hot shower. On the forth floor a bleary eyed Hermione pulled back her curtains to find a sheet of thick frost covering her window panes, she had been up all night making the perfect dress and finally it was ready, turning to look at it a tired smile formed upon her mouth, now in the light it looked magnificent. The corset was made of thin wire with a 2cm padding either side of it, the skirt floated down to just below her knees and both were made of the most amazing dark green silk with tiny ivy leaves embroidered in silver over one side of the bodes. It was just lucky I had a pair of shoes to go with it she thought happily, with a small yawn she began to undress __"__Shit it__'__s freezing__"__ Hermione gasped __"__I know I__'__ll go and have a nice warm bath seeing as Minerva has cancelled lessons for today thank goodness, I was not looking forward to spending a whole 10 hours in a freezing classroom.__"__ Walking towards the tiled bathroom she stopped the sound of beating wings could be heard coming from outside the window, walking quickly back she opened the ice cold latch and in flew the most beautiful snow white owl carrying a letter. _

_Laughing Hermione offered her bare arm to the bird, with a small hop the bird landed on her arm gripping lightly with her sharp talons, __"__Hello Hedwig__"__ she whispered stroking her magnificent head. Ever since Hedwig number 1 was killed while they had been getting Harry to safety last year Ron had been looking for a replacement and he had found the perfect one, he had given her to Harry just after he had started work. Naturally he called her Hedwig but no matter how much she looked like the old 1 they all knew that she would never be able to replace her. Stooping to pick up the letter which Hedwig had dropped, recognising Ron__'__s untidy scrawl she began to rip open the letter, disturbed by the sudden movement Hedwig took off across the room and landed with a soft thump on Hermione__'__s unmade bed._

_Dear Hermione _

_Harry wrote to me a couple of days ago explaining how he was getting on in the Chuddly Cannons lucky sod he said he hoped to hear from you soon. Anyway I__'__m writing to tell you that we__'__re all going to meet up at home, well my home because I__'__ve got something very important to ask you and I need Harry to be there as well ok. _

_Love you Loads from Ron x _


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10 **_

_Buttoning up his top button Snape surveyed his refection with distain, with shoulder length jet black hair that always had a slight shine to the top of it making it look constantly greasy and a straight nose which he had inherited from his grandfather, Snape thought he looked more like 60 year old vampire rather than a 39 year old man. Not only that but he was also having very heated dreams about a beautiful 19 year old woman named Hermione Granger what into gods__'__ name was wrong with him. With a swift turn that made his cloak tails billow out behind him Snape strode quickly towards the door wishing with all his heart that he could just stay where he was instead of having to face her. _

_The Great Hall was filled with couples milling around some were dancing to music that seemed to resound from the twelve huge Christmas trees that lined the walls. Snape entered feeling slightly sick at all the happiness, he scanned the room his eyes roaming over everyone looking for that one face that would set his heart racing again. __"__She__'__s not hear yet__"__ he breathed a sigh of relief slowly he made his way through the crowds of happy dancing students, finally he reached the teachers table and slumped into his chair. __"__Ah Severus__"__ said a brisk voice behind him, turning to face the speaker his gaze locked with Professor McGonagall__'__s __"__Yes Minerva what is it__"__ he sneered __"__I__'__ve just seen a fight brake out between a member of your house and one from my own will you please come and assist me with the brake up__"__ she answered curtly __"__If I must__"__ Snape sighed loudly. Moving swiftly between the chattering teenagers they soon reached the commotion a tall rather handsome Slytherin and short stocky Griffindor were rolling over and over on the glittering floor punching the shit out of each other. __"__Right__"__ growled Snape seizing the Slytherin boy by the scruff of his robes and pulled him to his feet the Griffindor scrambled to his feet only to be grabbed firmly by the arm, __"__What in havens name is going on?__"__ Professor McGonagall exclaimed rounding on the Griffindor boy. __"__Please Professor he was hitting on my girlfriend__"____"__Is this true__"__ asked Snape icily __"__Well yea began the Slytherin boy __"__but I only did it because Jones here doesn__'__t treat her prop. . .__"____"__Enough__"__ said Snape loudly __"__Smith I don__'__t want to see you anywhere near Jones and his girlfriend for the rest of the night do you understand?__"____"__Yes Professor__"__ replied Smith coldly __"__And that goes for you too Jones__"__ Yes Professor__"__ sighed Jones. Letting go of the two boys Snape turn to find Professor McGonagall looking at him strangely but shrugged almost instantly and turned to look in the direction of the doors __"__Ah here__'__s Hermione, my doesn__'__t she look amazing.__"__ Turning to follow her gaze he let his jaw drop, there stood Hermione in the most gorgeous dress Snape had ever seen, her hair hung freely about her shoulders curling into loose ringlets, tiny ivy leaves caught the candle light as she began to move elegantly through the crowd of noisy pupils. __"__She looks even more beautiful than usual__"__ he thought sweat beginning to appear on his palms, __"__Oh god she__'__s walking right towards us__"____"__Good evening Minerva, Professor Snape the hall looks amazing__"__ Hermione said smiling as she reached them at last __"__Thank you and I must say you look lovely tonight doesn__'__t she Severus__"__ replied Professor McGonagall returning the smile __"__Yes she does__"__ answer Snape not meeting Hermione__'__s eye __"__If you__'__ll excuse me I need to attend to something__"__ and with that he swept off dodging between the moving students._

"_Take no notice he__'__s in one of his moods again__"__ laughed Professor McGonagall patting Hermione__'__s arm, smiling at her ex teacher Hermione began to make her way towards the top table. Sitting down next to Hagrid she reached for a glass and poured herself a little pumpkin juice __"__Wow Hermione you look ruddy marvellous__"__ he puffed __"__Awwwwwwwww thanks Hagrid__"__ Hermione grinded setting down her empty glass on the table, __"__It__'__s just a little something I whipped up overnight.__"__ Hours passed like wild fire and soon it was time for the students to turn in although most had already done so some still continued to dance to the music. __"__Right well I hope you all had a nice time tonight__"__ rang out Professor McGonagall__'__s voice __"__but I__'__m afraid that it__'__s time to turn in for the night you all need your sleep, so goodnight and sleep tight.__"__ Removing her wand from her throat she turned and ushered the staff closer by this time Snape had reapered but was keeping his distance from Hermione, __"__Well I think we all deserve a drink and a rest in my office before we turn in don__'__t you?__"__ there was a murmur of agreement a few heads nodded._


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11**_

_A small glass full of what looked like blood was handed to Hermione seeing the look of suspicion on her face Professor Flitwick squeaked __"__Don__'__t worry it__'__s only Goblin wine but it__'__s very strong so don__'__t drink it to fast.__"__ feeling relief spread through her Hermione took a sip, flavour exploded in her mouth swallowing it quickly she set the glass down on a nearby table. The office hadn__'__t changed very much the only thing that was different was a life sized portrait of Dumbledore snoozing quietly in his frame. Glancing across the room she noticed Snape standing in the shadow of a large grandfather clock, he was staring at her, their eyes met Hermione smiled Snape inclined his head then looked away, sighing she looked away too. Snape set down his glass a headed towards the door noticing the sudden movement Hermione got to her feet to, __"__Professor__"__ Snape turned hoping against hope that it wasn__'__t who he thought it was __"__Yes Miss Granger what can I do for you?__"__"__I was just coming to wish you a happy Christmas and to thank you for letting me teach the younger years Potions__"__"__Well, you__'__re welcome__"__ Snape answered stiffly he made to move away from her but a loud laugh rang out stopping him in his tracks. Professor McGonagall was bent double clutching her stomach and pointing at Hermione and Snape she clearly had had a little to much to drink, __"__Look, look what there standing under__"__ she squealed. Snape look up and felt his stomach contract, there hanging slightly above his head was a small bunch of mistletoe, he glanced back down at Hermione now rather pink in the face. __"__Well go on then kiss her Severus__"__ giggled the drunk headmistress, feeling the colour rise to his face he turned to face her __"__I can__'__t she__'__s my colleague__"__ he swallowed. __"__You__'__re not getting out of here unless you kiss her Severus__"__ there was a loud click as the door locked itself, Snape__'__s pulse began to race he turned back to face Hermione the silence between them lengthened. Slowly Hermione moved forward, lifting her hand she placed it against his chest, Snape lowered his face to hers their lips touch, fireworks exploded along his nerves sending his mind whirling. Moving his hands he placed them on her waist feeling the soft silk beneath them, the sent of rose petals was filling his head he needed to breath but didn__'__t dare let her go he wanted this moment to last forever. Hermione gently moved her head away from Snape__'__s slightly surprised at what had just happened, looking up her eyes met his she smiled shyly, for a second nothing happened then a his lips curved into a small smile. Letting go of her Snape moved away turning to face the now speechless office, Dumbledore had woken up and was now surveying Snape over his half moon spectacles. __"__Now Minerva I would like turn in will you please unlock the door__"__ Snape said curtly, Professor McGonagall flicked her wand at the door with a click it opened __"__Thank you__"__ he said icily and in one swift movement he marched off down the spiral staircase but not before he had given Hermione another small smile._

_Slamming the door shut behind him Snape lent breathing heavily against it she__'__d kissed him she__'__d fucking kissed him out of her own free will and he__'__d loved every minuet of it. Sliding down into the floor he placed his head in his hands __"__It meant nothing__"__ he whispered __"__she only did it because we were under mistletoe, but she didn__'__t have to do it she could have refused__"__ said a small voice inside his head. __"__But it still meant nothing__"__ Snape groaned banging the back of his head against the door __"__Oh for fuck sake just admit that you love her__"__ argued the voice __"__Just say it, I__'__m in love with a woman called Hermione Granger say it say it SAY IT screamed the voice inside his head. __"__I can__'__t I can__'__t I CAN__'__T__"__ cried Snape __"__Cowered__"__ said the voice dripping with remorse __"__cowered, cowered, cowered.__"_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12 **_

_It was the day before Christmas eve and Harry, Ron and Hermione were all sitting at the kitchen table in the Burrow, Hermione had decided against telling her two best friends about her brief lip locking session with their former Potions master. __"__Harry I can__'__t remember where I left my wand will you go __'__n__'__ have a look in our bedroom for me please mate thanks__"__ Ron spoke these words without even looking at Harry he kept his eyes locked on Hermione. The moment Harry was out of the room Ron got down on one knee fumbled in his right hand pocket and bought out a small box, taking Hermione__'__s left hand in his he began to speak but she cut across him __"__Ron I know what you__'__re going to ask me and my answer is can I think about it please?__"__ Looking her straight in the eye he said __"__I knew you were going to say that__"__ getting up off the floor he turned away from her anger bubbling up inside him, __"__Oh Ron it__'__s not that I don__'__t want to marry you it__'__s just that I__'__ve had a very busy term and I__'__m not even sure I__'__m ready to get married yet, ask me at the beginning of the summer ok.__"__ Ron took her his arms and kissed her forehead __"__Ok I__'__ll wait but not for another six months I want an answer by Easter agreed__"____"__Agreed__"__ Hermione__'__s reply was muffled by Ron__'__s thick woolly jumper._

_Dumping her trunk onto the four poster bed Hermione walked back into the living room slumping into a large velvet armchair she let out a long sigh, the rest of the holidays had been very uncomfortable after the marriage proposal but at least she was back at Hogwarts. It was still snowing out side but a full moon was rising high above the forbidden forest giving everything a ghostly glow, a big black shape was moving towards the window, getting to her feet Hermione moved to open it the large owl zoomed in straight past her dropped the letter on the sofa and flew right back out the window and off into the night. Closing the window and drawing the heavy curtains shut Hermione moved to pick up letter not recognising the sliver italic writing on the front she began to open it very carefully inside there was a piece of folded parchment it read. . . _

_Dear Miss Granger _

_I wish to talk to you meet me in the library at 8 o__'__clock it is important come alone. _

_Severus Snape _

_Folding up the letter and stuffing it into her cloak pocket she turned and hurried out of the portrait hole, she only had ten minuets to get to the library that was two floors up, blood was pounding in her ears sweat was beginning to appear on the back of her neck. Reaching the library__'__s doors Hermione stopped and lent against the cool stone wall breathing deeply, soon it was back to normal straightening up she walked forward stretching out her hand she grasped the handle twisted and pulled. Snape stood with his back to her his head in a book, walking quickly towards him then stopping about four feet away she lent up against a shelf crossed her arms and said coolly __"__So what was it you wished to talk to me about.__"__ Snape snapped the book shut and whirled around to face her __"__Sorry did I scare you Professor__"__ asked Hermione trying hard not to laugh __"__Not scare Miss Granger just startled, anyway I called you here because I wish to discuss something with you__"__ Snape began not looking her in the eye. __"__You remember the incident that happened between you and me last term in Professor McGonagall__'__s office?__"____"__Yes__"__ answered Hermione, __"__Well I__'__m hoping it wont affect us working together__"__ Snape said this last sentence to his feet, Hermione stared at him __"__Professor don__'__t be so silly of course it wont affect us working together it was just one little kiss.__"__ Snape looked at her, feeling relief spread through him as she smiled, __"__One more thing__"__ Hermione said __"__please call me Hermione you__'__re the only one of my colleagues who doesn__'__t, Miss Granger makes me feel like I__'__m back at school being talked to by my very strict Potions master.__"____"__I still call you Miss Granger because I still see you as the insufferable know it-all who I use to teach Potions to,__"__ Snape said looking at Hermione __"__Tell you what if I stop calling you Professor Snape will you stop calling me Miss Granger__"__ she asked placing a hand on her hip __"__Very well__"__ Snape replied. Hermione smiled sweetly turned and began to walk away __"__Goodnight Severus__"__ she called over her shoulder stopping at the door she looked back and smirked at him then pushed and was gone in a matter of moments. Leaving Snape to stair after her. _


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13 **_

_From that moment on Hermione and Snape became firm friends she trusted him more than most people and valued his opinion before all others but still kept their friendship secret from Harry and Ron. As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months Hermione slowly began to develop a fondness for her ex teacher as he had for her, true he was still the sharp tongued, pale skinned, black haired Potions master but his personality had changed considerably for starters he no longer held grudges against the Gryffindor__'__s and not every word he spoke dripped with distain but the biggest change was he smiled more and more with each passing day. All seemed well but inside Snape felt a growing sickness an obsession beginning to develop with each minuet, hour, day that went by he began to need her, need her smile, need her laugh, need her happy eyes. He began to want her company, her annoying know it-all nature, how had she manage to bewitch him like this to make the beast within him raw like a lion or make his heart beat so loudly he was afraid she would hear it. How had she manage to make him Severus Snape fall so deeply in love that he would gladly sell his soul to the devil to make her happy. How in heavens had she done it?_

_As the end of the second term drew nearer Hermione began to feel a sort of foreboding, she knew what her answer would be when Ron next asked her to marry him and to be totally honest she didn__'__t have the heart to tell him why. _

_Walking into the Burrow__'__s kitchen on the first morning of the holidays Hermione was automatically greeted with Ron__'__s lips locking onto hers __"__Good morning__"__ he whispered softly in her ear when they had finally come up for air, __"__Have you thought about my little question.__"__ Feeling as though a rather large slab of marble had been suddenly dropped into the bottom of her stomach she nodded glancing round quickly, Harry was no where to be seen he probably hadn__'__t got up yet __"__Yes I have Ron. . . And my answer is__"__ she swallowed not meeting Ron__'__s eager eyes __"__My answer is. . . NO!!!__"__ There was silence apart from the ticking of the huge Weasley family clock, __"__What__"__ Ron asked quietly staring down at the girl who had just broken his heart into a million pieces __"__I__'__m sorry Ron but I can__'__t marry you forgive me__"__ Hermione whispered feeling tears welling up in behind her eyes. Ron__'__s temper snapped gripping her wrist in his long fingers he pulled her close to him __"__Why, why can__'__t you marry me?__"__ he hollered in her ear __"__Why, what have I done to deserve this?__"__ The tears which had been threatening to spill down Hermione__'__s cheeks finally began to dribble slowly down the sides of her face, __"__Is there someone else do you love someone else is that it is that why you wont marry me tell me who is it.__"__ Ron__'__s grip was so tight now Hermione__'__s fingers where going numb __"__There__'__s no one honest please let go Ron you__'__re hurting me__"__ she cried out tears falling rapidly now leavening long snail trails down her cheeks. __"__Don__'__t lie to me Hermione tell me who it is__"____"__I__'__ve all ready told you there__'__s no one__"__ Hermione was positively screaming by this point, throwing her to the ground Ron turned and stormed out the back door leaving her lying on the floor. _

_The moment the kitchen door slammed shut Harry who had been listening from the first floor__'__s landing came running down the stairs, taking Hermione under the arms he lifted her up she clung to him burring her face in his chest. He did nothing for a few minuets just stood there letting her cry and stroking her hair slowly, at last her sobs became nothing more that sniffs, guiding her into a chair Harry finally said quietly __"__You said no I take it.__"__ She nodded sadly __"__It wasn__'__t meant to end up like this I was all set to say yes at Christmas but I just needed a little bit more time to plane how to say it__"____"__What changed__"__ Harry asked __"__I can__'__t tell you you__'__ll hate me if I do just like Ron__"__ Hermione sniffed loudly. __"__I could never hate you and you know it Hermione so just tell me and I promise I wont tell Ron unless I have to ok,__"__ there was a pause then with a big sigh she looked Harry full in the eye and said __"__I think I__'__m in love with . . . Err. . . Severus__"__ the last word came out so quietly Harry had to bend over the table to hear. __"__Sorry with who__"____"__I said I think I__'__ m in love with Severus Snape__"__ Hermione said a little louder, Harry stared at her dumbfounded __"__You wont tell anyone will you please don__'__t I__'__d die if anyone knew__"__ he took a breath and said __"__Ok but I don__'__t like the idea of him and you together Hermione I really don__'__t__"____"__Thanks Harry you really are a mate and now I think I__'__m going to go a book a room at the __'__Leaky Caldron.__"__ As she got up to go a thought struck her turning to face Harry she said __"__If Ron asks where I__'__ve gone don__'__t tell him ok just tell him that I said Goodbye I wont see him for a while__"__ with that she turned and headed up the stairs to pack her trunk. _


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14**_

_The smell of Potions filled Snape__'__s nose he breathed in deeply reviling in the sent, it was the day before everyone returned for the last part of the year surprisingly he hadn__'__t seen Hermione yet and she was always eager to get back to Hogwarts. Adding the final ingredient to the caldron Snape watched it turn from an radiant green to an icy blue, he sighed and looked down at his reflection he was never going to win her heart never ever ever not even in his wildest dreams would he win her. Turning he walked out of the classroom and headed for the library thinking of catching up on some reading even though he had practically memorised ever book in there. On entering the great dome shaped room Snape noticed nothing out of the ordinary, he was the only one in there as usual no sound resounded off the walls except no he was imaging it but there it was again the low sound of some one crying. Not wanting to be discovered Snape turned and began to walk quietly back towards the huge double door but the sound of a voice stopped him __"__What have I done what in heavens name have I done?__"__ It was Hermione__'__s voice he was sure of it but what was she doing on her own in the library and crying why was she crying, making up his mind then and there Snape turned and walked swiftly towards the sound of her sobs not having the slightest clue of what to say when he found her. She seemed to be sitting in one of his favourite spots an old armchair that faced the lake, sunlight was streaming through the large window onto her tear stained face making her look like she was made of water. Snape stood there watching her silently each sob that issued from her mouth ripped through him like a north wind and each tear that fell pulled at and everyone of his heartstrings, he wanted to take her in his arms hug her close and make whatever it was that was hurting her so much go away. _

_Taking a breath he stepped out from behind the bookcase where he__'__d been hiding into the light casting a long shadow behind him, __"__Hermione is there anything I do to make you feel better?__"__ she swung round startled at the sound of his voice. __"__Severus how long have you been standing there?__"__ Hermione asked wiping the tears from her cheeks, __"__A few minuets why?__"__ Snape answered leaning against a bookshelf, there was a pause, __"__So tell me what__'__s bothering you so much that it__'__s reduced you to tears?__"__"__I cannot tell you Severus it would not make the slightest bit of difference even if I did__"__"__You cannot help me__"__ she turned away from him to look out the window but his face was reflected in it, a small sad smile formed on her lips. __"__Ron Weasley asked me to marry him__"__ Snape felt like he had just had his heart ripped out and stabbed right through the centre of it, the most perfect presence on the face of the earth and he had lost her to an idiot. __"__I turned him down, I don__'__t love him like I used to and it broke him in half, I just can__'__t believe I did that to him__"__ another sob escaped her mouth she buried her head in her hands and dissolved into tears once more. Snape stood beside her not having a clue what to do he wanted to kill that ass hole Weasley for doing this to her but on the other hand he wanted hold her close, to kisser her and make the pain cease at once. Oh how he loathed yet loved the spell she had cast upon him, her sobs began to subside slightly only to be replaced by utter silence. _

_Hermione__'__s head was spinning from lack of air she could feel his eyes upon her and yet she couldn__'__t turn to face him for fear of braking down again, this has to end she thought sadly taking a deep breath she got up out of the chair and turned to face the one person who could save her from herself. Moving forward she rapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into her embrace, surprised to say the least Snape did nothing for a moment then on impulse he pulled her yet closer rapping his arms around her waist not wanting to let her go. The smell of spices filled Hermione__'__s nose she wanted to remember his smell forever, lowering her arms from around his neck she took a small step back from him, fresh tears rolled down her cheeks __"__Goodbye Severus__"__ and with that she ran from the room leaving Snape with a growing unease. What had she meant by . . . Goodbye? _


	15. Chapter 15

_**Chapter 15**_

_Closing the door quickly behind her Hermione slide to the floor tears falling thick and fast slowly she pulled her wand from inside her robes this would probably be the last time she would use it __"__Lazar__"__ she sobbed there was a great flash of white and Hermione Jane Granger moved no more . . ._


	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 16**_

_Snape sat staring into the dieing embers of the once blazing fire cold was beginning to take over the room again and yet he still did not move, her voice played on his mind her words rang in his ears and the pain in her eyes haunted his memory. Suddenly there was a banging on the door and Professor McGonagall__'__s voice could be heard yelling __"__Severus come quick we need your help there__'__s been an accident,__"__ getting to feet he hurried to the door pulling it open her came face to face to a very distort Headmistress. __"__What__'__s happened?__"__ he asked hoping against hope it wasn__'__t Hermione __"__It__'__s Hermione she was found in her room ice cold but still breathing Severus we need you come and identify what__'__s wrong with her__"____"__Why in god__'__s name hasn__'__t Madam Pomfrey identify what__'__s wrong her?__"____"__Poppy doesn__'__t know what has happened she__'__s tried everything to wake her up but nothings worked__"__ hearing these words Snape raced off through the dungeons Professor McGonagall hot on his heels. On and on they raced through down corridor after corridor up staircase after staircase until finally they reached the Hospital Wing Snape flew through the doors and stopped dead at the sight which greeted him, there lay Hermione white as a sheet, her eyes closed, her lips blue one arm resting across her stomach the other lying lifelessly by her side. _

_Quickly he crossed the room, she lay perfectly still her chest moving very very slowly, he reached down and placed a hand against her cheek it felt like ice, a lump rose in his throat why had she done this to herself? __"__I don__'__t know what__'__s wrong with her, Professor do you know can you save her?__"__ Madam Pomfrey asked thickly she had been crying Snape could tell her nose was very red so were her eyes. __"__I know what__'__s wrong with her yes but I cannot save her she__'__s di . . .__"__ Snape broke off he couldn__'__t bring himself to say it, it hurt to much to say __"__She is what Severus?__"__ McGonagall asked __"__She__'__s dieing__"__ Snape whispered. He closed his eyes a small tear ran down his pale cheek, never for as long as he could remember had he cried over death and yet here he was crying over a dieing girl __"__yes__"__ he thought __"__but I love her, I love her with all my heart.__"____"__What__'__s wrong with her Severus there must be a way you can save her if you know what__'__s wrong with her__"__ McGonagall persisted __"__I cannot save her because I do not know what her heart__'__s deepest desire __"__ Snape hissed rounding on Minerva __"__I do not understand__"__ she replied looking confussed. __"__She has cast the Lazar curse upon herself__"__ he answered turning back to the icy form of Hermione taking one of her hands in his he began to stroke it gently with his thumb, __"__But why did she do that, what drove her to curse herself like this?__"__ Madam Pomfrey asked tears rolling down the sides of her face __"__Ronald Weasley asked her to marry him she turn him down she hates herself for causing him pain__"__ Snape said through gritted teeth. _

_The beast within him was roaring fit to bust, he hated that boy more than words could say, hated him for what he had done to her __"__But what does the curse do?__"__ Professor McGonagall asked Madam Pomfrey. __"__It freezes the body, first the blood, then the organs finally the soul it kills them slowly over a period of three days__"__ Snape answered for her swallowing hard after the word kills __"__And the only way to save her is to find out what her heart__'__s deepest desire is__"__ Madam Pomfrey concluded Snape nodded silently. __"__Well how long have we got ?__"__ McGonagall asked looking at Hermiones still form __"__Judging from the colouration of her skin two and a half days maximum__"__ answered Madam Pomfrey __"__Right I__'__m going ask one of the house elves to go and get Mr Potter and Mr Weasley, they need to be here and maybe one of them can save her__"__ Professor McGonagall said over her shoulder as she hurried out of the Hospital Wing. __"__I__'__ll go and read up on the Lazar__'__s curse__"__ Madam Pomfrey said hurrying after her Snape was left alone. Gently he placed her hand back down beside her, turning away he began to move a neighbouring bed closer to the one she was lying on when both beds were touching he stopped. Hoisting himself up onto the bed he began to move the pillows into a comfy heap then as gently as he could he lifted her up and placed her across his lap, leaning back against the pillows he let her head rest against his chest he rapped his arms protectively around her hugging her close. The beast inside him began to purr contentedly as he closed his eyes and rested his head against her soft hair his breathing slowed to match hers and soon he was fast asleep Hermione held in his arms._


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17**_

_The sound of whispering woke Snape the next morning opening his eyes slightly he saw two figures standing at the foot of the beds, Professor McGonagall and Harry Potter were deep in conversation, Hermione still lay in his arms but a cover was now draped over the both of them. Opening his eyes fully he found that Harry and Professor McGonagall were not actually facing him but had their backs turned, he gently released Hermione and lay her back down pulling the covers up around her chin. Sliding off the side of the bed he turned to find two faces looking at him curiously __"__Potter__"____"__Snape__"__ they eyed each other warily __"__Harry has some very interesting news Severus but I think it would be a good idea for Mr Weasley to see Hermione before he tells you as it could have some nasty after effects__"__ Professor McGonagall said looking at Snape fiercely he nodded and headed for the door. As soon as he was outside the door Ron attacked him __"__What the fuck have you done to her why were you asleep with her?__"__ Ron__'__s hands were around Snape__'__s neck __"__Answer me you piece of worthless shit__"__ he roared in Snapes__'__ ear, looking Ron straight in the eye he hissed __"__Do you honestly think that I__'__d ever, ever hurt her, I care more about her than you ever will.__"__ Staring into the cold hard eyes in front of him Ron let his arms drop to his sides __"__It__'__s you, you__'__re the reason she didn__'__t want to. . .__"__ but he couldn__'__t finish the sentence as Professor McGonagall had just stuck her head around the door __"__You can come in now Mr Weasley__"__ giving Snape one last glair he turned and walked into the Hospital Wing._

_Time dragged, slowly the sky outside began to lighten Snape sat on the windowsill watching the sun rise __"__Severus you can come back in now__"__ Professor McGonagall had walked up behind him without him even realising. He looked at her __"__I__'__m not going in there while Weasleys__'__ in there__"____"__Severus you have to there__'__s something Harry needs to tell us and he needs you both there.__"__ Rising from the sill he walked slowly towards the doors, as soon as he entered he felt the icy glair from Ron he was sitting next to the bed Hermione__'__s hand in his. __"__Right Harry we are all present will you please explain to Severus what he needs to do__"__ Snape turned to look at Harry who was standing next to the window sunlight reflecting off his glasses. __"__I know what Hermione__'__s heart desires the most. . . It__'__s the love of Severus Snape__"__ there was silence no-one spoke __"__What__"__ Snape whispered sharply, __"__The only way we can save Hermione is for you to declare you love for her and seal it with a kiss__"__ Harry said flatly not looking at him. __"__Severus do you love Hermione?__"__ Professor McGonagall asked quietly behind him, he turned to face her __"__If you do then prove it and if you don__'__t then she will die.__"__ Snape moved towards the still form of Hermione Ron gripped her hand tighter as he approached __"__Ron. . . She doesn__'__t love you anymore I__'__ve told you that now let Snape do what he has to do__"__ Harry was not actually looking at them but he could tell what Ron was doing, Ron let go of Hermiones__'__ hand got up and stalked over to Harry. Taking her hand in his he began __"__Hermione__"__ Snape said croakily he cleared his throat __"__Hermione Jane Granger I love you more than anything else in this world, you have bewitched me body and soul my heart is yours to do with as you wish just please come back to me__"__ and with that he bent over her letting the soft sweet sent of her wash over him. Gently he pressed his lips to hers they were as cold as icy but hers all the same, Harry was shocked at how Snapes__'__ mouth fitted Hermiones__'__ so perfectly. Ron seemed to be fighting not to pull them apart the look on his face was pure hatred, Snape removed his lips only to grasp her hand tightly within his __"__Please, please, please come back to me__"__ he was practically yelling it now each word was ripping at his soul. Lowering his forehead to her hands he placed it on her fingers, the silence in the room was so heavy Snape could hardly breath, nobody moved. _

"_Severus__"__ the voice was so quiet that for a moment he thought he was hearing things but then it can again a little louder. . . __"__Severus make it stop please__"__ Snape looked up his eyes locked with Hermione__'__s her face was contorted with pain tears were streaming down her cheeks a low moan escaped her lips. __"__Oh my God__"__ he was on his feet in seconds lifting Hermione up pulling her onto his lap cradling her fragile body in his arms __"__Shhhhhhhhh it__'__s ok I__'__m here I wont leave you I promise__"__ his voice broke with every word he didn__'__t know what to do. Was he going to lose her no matter what the antidote said???_


End file.
